It's Beautiful.

Last week at the gathering, a woman--I think her name was Mary--spoke to us about her journey through life. She wanted to dance, but went to school to be a teacher, because that was practical. She met her husband, moved to the states, had children and taught. After ten years, her family moved back to Australia. She knew she wanted to bring dance back into the Church, but she felt doubtful; she thought that what she wanted to do wasn't meaningful or good enough. She had always struggled with what she wanted to do with her life, but as she returned to Sydney with her passion, God led her to a passage of scripture, Matthew 26:6. In this passage, Jesus is having dinner at Simon the leper's house when a woman comes up to him and pours very expensive perfume/ointment/whatever you want to call it on Jesus' head. Now, the part I want to highlight is the disciples' and Jesus' reactions. The disciples were upset and said it was a waste. Why would this woman waste her time and money on this, when she could have sold the perfume for a good amount of money and, in turn, given it to the poor. That seems like the Christian thing to do. But Jesus' reaction was much different. He said "Why do you trouble the woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. For you always have to poor with you, but you will not always have me. In pouring this ointment on my body, she has done it to prepare me for burial. Truly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her." Jesus said that what she did, her act of worship, was beautiful.

When Mary spoke this passage, I fought tears back. Ok, I am an emotional person regardless, but I really needed to hear this message. I've struggled with what I should do with my life, from choosing my major to contemplating my future. How much is enough? What do I give? Should I give away all I have and feed the poor? Should I put all my time and energy into a ministry? Should I become a teacher? And I know the answer is simple: God places a passion in our souls, and we live out that passion with the driving force being that our lives belong to Him. I'm sure Mary knew that too. But the reminder that God loves things that are beautiful, things that are worshipful, was a blessing.

I have these doubts because what I do seems far from those things that are greatly needed and appreciated. I want to tell stories, which sounds silly. How this is going to be manifested, I'm not quite sure yet. Writing, acting, film, scripts, graphic design, art.
It's difficult for me to write or articulate what I feel about all this, well, because, I'm afraid. Fear of failure, self-doubt, insecurities. I have heaps to learn and experience.

Some underestimate the power of stories. The film industry itself may be scoffed at, called pointless or a waste of time. It is the best medium to portray a story, a worldview, humanity in it's most vulnerable form--not hidden in ambiguous words or images. Have you ever watched a film that's made you happy, angry, and sad within 100 minutes? Something that can draw you in that easily and make you display emotions so readily and without shame (you know you bawled in the theatre when you watched Marley & Me) has a powerful force that needs to be acknowledged. It's not just mindless entertainment.

The same goes with books and images as well. Does anyone remember the Harry Potter and Twilight phenomenon? Of course you do, because it's still going on.

I love reading the songs of great writers. No, not music. But the words that sing to your heart--that become part of your heartsong. The rhythm, the rhyme, it's beautiful. They pull at your imagination, they beg you to come into their world, find the meaning of life. They evoke emotion, reason, your spirit. I love it.
And somehow, in some way, I want to be a part of this storytelling.